And wherever he came, in villages, cities, or countryside,  they laid the sick in the marketplaces and implored him that they might touch even the fringe of his garment. And as many as touched it were made well. (Mark 6.)

Jesus had marveled at the unbelief of the scribes and Pharisees, The important religious people. But these folk, the sick and hurting and hopeless, they knew they needed help and could not, were powerless to, help themselves. Desperate, they reached out and just touched the fringe of his prayer shawl and they were healed. 

We must be desperate it seems, or at least we need to know that we need help. As long as I think that I can solve my own problems, I am not looking to God, trusting in Jesus.

But God doesn’t really want us to be so dependent and weak, does he? Doesn’t he want us to stand on our own two feet, be men and women, grow up, take care of ourselves? That’s what our culture says, what we say to our children. Because we don’t want to be bothered as parents? Because we want to be free of having to help? Because we don’t love others as much as we love ourselves, even our children?

But God does. He is always the parent, the loving and present caregiver.  Who knows us, sheep without a shepherd, wandering, lost, in need of help and guiding. He created us, maybe he feels responsible for us. Can we ever stop feeling responsible for our children? Always ready to help if they just text even, SOS, reach out and just tap us on our elbow.

And I care too. I would do anything for my kids, anytime, and come from anywhere to do it. And my parents would do the same for me. The problem is not in the parent or in Jesus; the problem is in me, in the child too eager to be “grown up”. I don’t want to be needy. I want to be self-sufficient, take care of myself, be grown up and not dependent on anyone else. Be free. Be a self, an individual. But the truth is, we are all one, all connected, interdependent, reliant on one another. We are not made to be individuals but to be whole. Needing and giving help. Wrapped together.

Jesus, I need you. I know that others may read this and I don’t want them to think that I am weak, a wimp. But I am. I cannot exist on my own because I don’t. I am warped and woofed in a web, the divine tapestry that is the universe you made, and try as hard as I might, I cannot escape it. I can only live in it. I live in you. In you, I live and move and have being. In you, attaining full beauty and purpose not as one solitary thread, but achieving fulfillment as a part of the whole weave. Touching the fringe, woven into the prayer that you are.